okay so i have been reading other dread's posts about their dreads. i have found a correlation between vanity and dreading. there are many people out there who has a sense of wanting more than what this world has given us.. this perception.. a vanity. how it 'shouldnt' be really. for most people here where i live.. it is all about the clothes you wear, how straight you can straighten your hair.. how much make up you can apply to your face, how "cute" you can dress compared to the other girls around you.. new clothes, new cars, money, money, money, bags of money, outer appearance, he said she said, hooplah. you can what i mean. its all done in vain and with greed in their eyes. i cant lie.. i have been caught up in this ridiculousness... but atleast i have found myself and come down from the high horse. i am not saying its bad for you to care about how you look.. its not. its just bad when you care about others opinions on how you look. i still catch myself lookinng in the mirror wondering what others would think of my outfit.. am i cute.. do i look intimidating.. is my hair put up neatly... its just so wack. to think and contemplate on what SSOMEONE else is thinking.. its just stupid. i hate that i still get caught in these moments.
i have started contemplating these things.. reading a book also that helps me find "me' in this crazy world.. it helps to be alone. and it helps to deep think. think deeply on the word "me"..
"who am i?"
"what do i like?"
"who do i want to be friends with?"
"am i going to enjoy this or that..?"
if you meditate on this.. you will find yourself in a world of "me" not knowing who YOU are but feeling it. you feel your outer body and the form, but you know you are the spirit inside this temple. you can feel your spirit disconnect and connect with the body.
i am no philosopher, doctor, etc.. i just speak from hands on experience.
I dread my head 3 times now. i am on the third and last go around. the first time, i had gone to a salon.. awful idea. took them out the same day.
the second time around.. i kept them for 8 months.. this was super sad. i regret taking them out. i was goin thru depression and everything else.. it was a rough time.. safe to say i regret it.
nooooooow i am dreading again!! am super excited and learning patience all over again.. damn, it takes forever. ahahah
so now that i am back dreading... i have committed to finding myself and reaching an alternate spiritual awareness. i have lost the awareness that i had gained prior, but my vanity and pride had over come me in the last months of my last set of dreads so i was punished.. which meant no more dreadies- very sad. i am back at it, in full swing too. i know who i am, know who i want to be- the best version of ME, and i wont give up or back down this time.
dreading means that i can be free.
it means society has not conformed me.
it means that noone can mold me.
means that i can be myself whereever i go,, being that my hair will be "messy", its not like i have to go any further to persuade people im not this or that..(talking about stereotypes)
i have already made the decision so its mine, and final.
with my dreads, i return to a purer state of form. i can reach mother earth, and her roots.
i can be natural and knotty. i love the knotss..they make me feel grounded.
this journey is spiritual and personal. i cant wait to see the open doors my dreads
will bring me.
i hope someone can read this and relate. happy dreading,
christine
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